mad transit: the great mask debate

So last week I was waiting for the elevator in my apartment building when a twentysomething dude stands next to me. He’s not wearing a mask.

Our building still has a very strict policy about wearing masks in the lobby and elevators, with several signs announcing in big, bold all caps: WEAR A MASK.

There are a lot of elderly folk in the co-op, as well as a bunch of kids under five. No one wants to wear masks anymore, but we’re still doing it out of respect for others.

I say to the guy, “Can you please put on a mask?”

He stares me down and barks out nastily: “Mind your own business!!”

I calmly say, “Whoa, it’s all of our business. You get that, right?”

He repeats, “Mind your own business! I don’t have to listen to you!”

I look over at the doorman, who shrugs like it’s an argument I have no chance of winning.

So I reply, “Well, thanks for being considerate of everyone in the building. What’s wrong with you?”

“Fuck off,” he says, and gets in the elevator. I wait for the next one.

I sort of forgot about that when I went to take the elevator the other night, on my way to go to a show with my childhood friend the Gull.

The elevator stops on my floor and the same dude is in there, without a mask.

“Do you mind putting your mask on?” I ask.

“Mind your own business!!” he barks at me again with utter disdain.

“Why can’t you see it’s all of our business? What aren’t you getting?” I answer.

“Take the stairs!” he says.

I call him a fucking asshole and tell him to take the stairs himself as I wait for the next elevator.

I get to the lobby and go over to talk to the doorman. Meanwhile, the dude has just gotten his mail and is heading back to the elevator.

I know I shouldn’t have said anything, but I couldn’t hep myself. “What’s the big deal about wearing a mask for seven seconds in the elevator?”

He gets right up in my face and shouts, “I. DON’T. CARE. ABOUT. YOU," carefully articulating each word. And he holds the position, staring me down.

“Damn, that’s nice,” I say. “What about everyone else then? We’re all neighbors; we don’t have to be friends, but…”

“I. DON’T. CARE. ABOUT. THEM,” he says, and there’s no doubt that he means it.

I turn to the doorman. “What are the rules as of today?”

The doorman says, “Everyone has to wear a mask,” but he doesn’t want to get involved, and I can’t blame him.

I turn to the maskless dude, who is still pretty much in my face, and I say, starting to shake from the altercation, “I don’t want to wear a mask either. Tomorrow we might not have to wear masks anymore, so seriously, what’s the big deal?”

He once again barks at me: “I. DON’T. CARE. ABOUT. YOU.”

By now I’m completely flustered and don’t know what to say. I resort to cursing him out, which I regret as I continue to shake.

“You’re nuts!” he declares.

“I’m nuts? Wow, can you be a bigger asshole?” I respond.

The elevator comes and he gets in.

An older man in the lobby, wearing a mask, comes up to me and the doorman and says, “You know, it doesn’t even matter that it was about wearing a mask. The co-op bylaws call for civility and that guy was completely uncivil. That was uncalled for.”

The doorman says, “Yup, he’s always like that. Rude to all of us. There are a group of them in the building now. It really sucks.”

Damn, does it suck.

So off I go to meet the Gull, who is about the most calm and easygoing person ever, and he gets me to chill right away.

And we have a great night, masked and unmasked.